Roller Town

By Christopher Redmond

Mailed on October 04, 2012

Stamp image Air
StarStarStarHalf StarEmpty Star

Dear Lonnie Kleinman
Random Phrase Generator

Dear Lonnie,

"Roller disco double dicker." That was you, wasn't it? Or are you the type of gal who threatens to "ground up like pepper" your misbehaving shame-baby? No, these rather hilarious and random lines are from the twisted minds of Picnicface, the online comedy troupe behind Roller Town. You, on the other hand, are simply one of the many donors who helped make their big screen debut possible. The other self-credited benefactors include raptor tamers, fruit hypnotizers, and pepperoni stick samurais. And if any of you had actually showed up on-set, you undoubtedly would have been included in this everything-plus-the-kitchen-sink-plus-the-hair-in the-drain comedy.

Roller Town is a tour-de-farce by Generation YouTube's Canadian wunderkinds. Picnicface got their own Comedy Network TV series, but stepping into film is always much more daunting (as their forebears from like Saturday Night Live and _The Kids in the Hall _can attest). Rarely can specialists in short-form humor successfully stretch a skit over an hour and a half.

Well, I LOL'ed - for real - multiple times. So something obviously worked.

The year is 1970-something, and disco isn't just dying, it's being murdered. No-nonsense arcade pushers are forcing Mouth Wheel machines (aka Pac-Man) into the small town roller discos of Canada. They're doing more than just killing the funk--they're killing people, and even themselves, to prove how ridiculously serious they are. The only man brave enough to roll up against them is Leo (Mark Little), a defiant skater who for some reason is constantly, humiliatingly, rejected by the Royal Roller Academy. Now he gets a chance to finally prove his groove. Along the way, he also attempts to win over Julia (Kayla Lorette), the girl of his dreams. And there you have it: all the mandatory plot points to ride out a feature film. But who cares? It's the random stops along the way that make this film worthwhile.

Leo's facemashing during a makeout session with Julia. The seven belts Grandpa wears over his sweatpants. A hobo corn-fucker hiding in the fields. And, of course, the musical disco interludes. These are just a few arbitrary examples of what, against all logic, worked for me. The film as a whole suffers from numerous trappings of a low budget feature: the sound design is weak, the cinematography is inconsistent, and the scale always feels limited. But when it comes to comedy, there's only one objective measurement that matters. Laughter. And more than a few jokes land right where they're supposed to. Even the romance manages a strange brew of chemistry. I'll be damned if I didn't fall for Julia's crooked smile by the end of it all.

So check your watch, brave supporter, and sing along with me: "It's a quarter to dick. It's a half past pussy. It's fuck o'clock!". No? Not random enough for you?

Arbitrarily yours,


P.S. Is it too late to donate, or can I still get my own [personalized sexy rap video][1]?

comments powered by Disqus
(% endraw %}