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I Origins

Dear Eisenia Fetida (aka. Earthworm), Performer, 

I just wanted to congratulate you on a job well-done in the new film I Origins. The way you wriggled in just the right way in that slippery Petri dish, with all those hot lights shining on you? Very professional. I wouldn’t be surprised if bigger projects came knocking after this.

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The Zero Theorem

Dear Andre Jacquemin, Sound Designer,

You’ve worked at almost every end of the sound spectrum: designer, composer/arranger, editor and mixer, and as a music producer on many Monty Python-related projects—you even wrote the music for Every Sperm Is Sacred from The Meaning of Life. It’s obvious that one of the things that both you and director Terry Gilliam absorbed from your Python days is a penchant for tempering even the darkest circumstances with a touch of whimsy. This must be why Gilliam chose you for The Zero Theorem, his latest musing on the human condition. Because when life gets heavy, we need a machine that goes ping.

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Dear Arnaud Hémery, Data Manager, 

That must have been one hell of a database you had to sort through! Most people would have a difficult enough time managing all the normal files for this type of film. You know: CarFlip_Camera4_Take12.xml, ThroatPunch17_AsianGang_Blooper.xml, ScarJo_LegSpread_MoneyShot.xml, etc.

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Dear Linda D. Flowers, Hair Department Head

There’s a moment at the end of Tammy (in the gag reel, naturally) when Melissa McCarthy’s wig makes a break for it. It flies off the back of her head at a speed rivaled only by the speed with which the audience went flying out the back of the theatre at the end of the screening. 100 minutes of falling down followed by 5 minutes of unscripted falling down? You kept McCarthy’s wig glued to her head about as well as the film kept us glued to our seats.

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Dear Derek Shook, Paparazzi,

You’re one of the many people interviewed about the titular Hollywood agent in the documentary Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon. Though your IMDb profile doesn’t come right out and say that you’re a paparazzi, it mentions that your “iconic photos and videos have been published in magazines and newspapers and can be seen on web sites and television programs around the world, a benchmark in any artist’s career.” Not once does it allude to the fact that these pictures are usually taken when you are hiding in a shrubbery. But the beauty of showbiz is that you can constantly reinvent yourself. It’s all about spin.

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