Friends with Kids

By Christopher Redmond

Mailed on March 30, 2012

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Dear Tiffany Little Canfield
Casting Director

Dear Tiffany,

OMG, I loved Bridesmaids! We totally have the same sense of humour. Such great casting too, didn't you think? Maybe this Friends With Kids movie you were hired to cast will finally showcase your own sharp eye for talent. Your big break is coming, I just know it…

Hey, so, I just realized I never finished this postcard from, like, nine months ago. And I just saw Friends With Kids, with Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Jon Hamm, Chris O'Dowd… look, we need to talk. I understand your first job on the _Sex and the City movie might have confused you about your responsibilities as a casting director. And no one blames you for cutting and pasting the stage actors for the Rent film. But I'm starting to think you're just plain lazy.

Did you actually do any casting here, or did you just get this big group of friends to choose roles out of a hat? Don't tell me you "let" the adorable and talented Jennifer Westfeldt star in another film she wrote and directed. Wait! Maybe it was your out-of-the-box thinking that got Megan Fox to play the self-absorbed sex pot! Do you see a pattern here? Let me do my own bit of recycling and quote Roland Emmerich to his science advisor: who's the idiot that keeps hiring you?

I mean, the film is decent: the premise is far-fetched but funny, and the phrase "fuck the shit out of me" has never sounded so sweet. I just don't want to know what you're really using that couch in your office for.

Casting you aside, Christopher

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