By Cory Haggart

Mailed on April 20, 2012

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Dear Tim Allen

Dear Tim,

The better the movie is, the more annoyed people will be when you talk through the whole thing. The movie was very good. People are very annoyed. There was beautiful cinematography, interesting characters, and heartfelt emotion. And there was you, all jibber, jabber, jabber.

To be fair, I know you weren't talking to me. You were talking to all the monkeys running around the theatre. As they climbed, picked at their parents' faces, and made a ruckus, it was easy to see the connection with what was happening onscreen. You were talking to them. Trying to bring them in, a with a constant flow of easy words that would bring much-needed levity and energy to…the jungle.


Let's be even more fair. Your narration was largely redundant. It was maybe damaging. Your banter, along with some really strangely-chosen swing music, became an awkward addition that obscured the story itself.

And what a story! I love how Disney has revived Walt's original idea of narrated nature stories. But these latest stories reflect many of the truths about nature that were still hidden when I was a kid. I don't think any child was traumatized by any of the harsh realities of the jungle, but I think kids today are better off for the honesty. Superb. I wish I could have played a part of it. Which, Tim, may have been the reason you jumped on board, even if you were totally unnecessary. You were willing to lend your name and your voice (nowadays all you really have) to something that deserves to succeed.



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