Dear Shane,

As you know, it's difficult to talk about time travel. Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations_ is the only respectable work to deal directly with this issue._ But you also set a new standard for serious time travel study by making the film Primer, _which is why _Looper director Rian Johnson wisely consulted you on such matters. Now it's my turn. I've had some trouble conjugating my description of his film, and I wanted to run this by you. It's important, because the future enjoyment of an entire readership is at stake. They must willan-have to mayan seen this movie.** They willan love it.**

Here's my time-and-space bending paradox.

I need to describe a film that smart people will definitely have to have seen in the future. In that future, they will watch the movie about Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who is a Looper, an assassin that will have killed people from even further in the future. That will become complicated when he is assigned to kill his future self (Bruce Willis) that will have come back to the future. That's because it will have triggered a specific clause in his contract to somewhat later result in their murder by his eventually-to-be employer (Jeff Daniels) from the future. Along the way to their respective futures and futures-past, the Joes meet Sara (Emily Blunt) and Cid (a both now and surely later amazing Pierce Gagnon) who may change their future even more dramatically.

So this is what I have so far*:

Dear Dear Cast and Crew Reader, thank you for your support that you have given and will-haven given. I willen haven congratulen you on your fine taste with has on-brought you here over and over again and to haven on-seen Looper. As you by now know, Joe mayan on-kill will-Joe but suddenly paradox mayhap mis-on-shoot con love and time travel liven better haven Shanghai beauty saven killen. Contra re-on-chasing will-Joe en-forces Joe to meeting future boy and on-sexin' lovely Sara and future have-ran-saving blunderbuss hoverbike, etc.

Translation: this film was simply great. I just want people to understand the few complicated bits so that they can sit back and enjoy a great action-romance-thriller without worrying about the grammar. That should do the trick, right?

And Shane, if you haven't yet seen this movie, you should too. Your future self will-an thank you.