Dear Anthony,

I'm so glad I killed your ass.** **Act of Valor's first-person shooter cinematography perfectly fed my fantasy of pulling the trigger - for America! Who cares that _Call of Duty: Army Approved _is just a big-screen military recruitment video? I've already signed up. Because "acting" (ie. pretending) is for pussies. That's why they used actual Navy SEALs, live ammunition, and certified scum like you to keep shit real. I'll sleep better at night knowing we've sent your cartoonish characterization of terrorism to a watery grave. Tell Cristo's Thug and Somalian they're next.

Gotta go - I'm on a beach about to devirginate Yacht Girls 1, 2 and 3 to the soundtrack of America, Fuck Yeah! So suck it. Yup, you too.

P.S. You were the only Yacht Henchman. They just called you #1 to make you feel special.