Dear 2012 Winners of a Silver Stamp,
There's no shortage of awards out there. The end of every year means best actor, best director and best film accolades will be piling up on the mantels of stars. But our mandate at Dear Cast and Crew is to acknowledge the work of everyone who helps make a movie possible. We're therefore doing our part to look back on 2012 and recognize the work that made us stand up and take notice. You, brave soldiers, have earned Dear Cast and Crew's Silver Stamp of approval for your most excellent contributions to the art and discourse of cinema.
The Awards
Best Make-up - Cloud Atlas
Most Awkward and Probably Racist Make-up - Cloud Atlas
Most Canadian Film - Goon
Most Anti-Canadian Film - Argo
Best Use of a Fart Noise to Cut Dramatic Tension - The Master
Best Age-Denying Special Effects - Meryl Streep's inner thigh in Hope Springs
The Silver Stamp of Irony, Awarded to the Screenplay That Explained Everything With Endless Exposition and Yet Made No Sense - Prometheus
Most Audacious Use of New Technology to Replicate the Look of BBC Programming from the 1970s - _The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
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Clearest Proof that New Doesn't Necessarily Mean Better - _The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
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Most Likely to Get Us Beat Up for Liking It - Rock of Ages
The Roger Deakins Award for Excellence in Being Roger Deakins - Skyfall
The Pulling Off the Impossible Award - The Avengers
The Uwe Boll Award for Adapting a Game into a Terrible Film - Battleship
The Zac Efron Look-of-Confusion that Least Represented a Character's Mindset - Zac Efron in The Lucky One
The Zac Efron Look-of-Confusion that Best Represented the Audience's Mindset: Zac Efron in The Paperboy
Most Disgusting On-Set Catering (We Assume) - Beasts of the Southern Wild
Best Remake of Escape From New York: Lockout
*Best Reversal of a Downward Trend *- Moonrise Kingdom
Best Movie Released on October 12th with Boom in the Title: Here Comes the Boom 3,2,1 Frankie Goes Boom
Most Debated Film About an Actual Debate: Lincoln
Most Uncomfortable Fetishization of Guns: Tie between Jack Reacher and The Expendables 2
Sincerely,
Dear Cast & Crew